Sunday, 25th o August 2002
Mommy and Daddy (notice once again the little military hair cut) Get Married (Jaimito and Olaia are still with Papa Dios)
Here are some more cute Olaia drawings. She's a prolific little painter/artist. She cranks out several originals every day, each with elaborate stories. Mommy and Daddy get married is one of classics, as she details to us that Jaimito and she are still with Papa Dios (God). She asked us about that one day a few months ago.
"Mommy, when you and Daddy got married, where was Olaia?"
"You were with Papa Dios in Heaven," Laura replies.
"Oh. Olaia was with Papa Dios in Heaven?" she confirms. Then she proceeds to turn out her pre-Olaia phase works which feature various pre-Olaia events with herself floating above the pictures. "See," she says, "there's Olaia with Papa Dios."
Such a cutie, and very clear on the fact that she has always been Olaia and with our family.
Friday, 23rd o August 2002
Mommy, Olaia (notice her detail of bangs) and Daddy (military hair cut)
Olaia-isms Part III
We were watching CNN this morning, and the morning crew was talking about Eminem, specifically how his lyrics affect youth today etc. Blah blah. Paula Zahn was defending him, or at least saying that people like him are not responsibile for problems with today's youth. Bill Hemmer was on the other side with the typical, "I think Eminem, although talented and incredibly popular, needs to take to heart a sense of social responsibility."
At which point, I said, "Aw, Eminem's just a bunch of trash."
Olaia, looked up at me emphatically, and summoning all the credibilty she could muster, "Daddy, M&M's are not trash, they are CANDY."
Thursday, 15th o August 2002
It's Not Software. It's Drama.
Microsoft Windows fills life with drama. Everyone hates it, but everyone keeps it on their desktop. Why?
"Hey Bob, I need that sales report by 1 pm today."
"Can't get it to you by then, I'll be here late. Got this problem in Windows that I need to track down. Something is corrupting the registry, and I'm on the phone with MS Tech Support right now. They say they have a service pack. Looks like the afternoon's shot."
"Oh, okay, good luck man." And you can almost hear him say, May the force be with you, like Bob, is locked in battle with the forces of darkness, defending all that is good and noble, while at the same time risking his very existence. We need for our mundane mostly non-creative work days to be filled with meaning, excitement.
You don't believe me? Watch an office go into crisis mode after somebody opens an email with a virus attachment. All kinds of crisis management actions get kicked into place. First somebody shuts off the Internet connection, then they quarantine the guy's workstation. Then the forensic team, made up of PC Week readers start to speculate on what's been affected and how to fix it. I think we have to reformat. Should do a sweep of the entire network. We have to change all the passwords. And out come the service packs... and oh there are many. This could be weeks of work. You can almost detect the glee. There's this smell of semi-anxious nervous exhilaration.
It's an attack! We're under attack! This is HISTORY! It'll be rough men, but we'll weather this. We're in it together. If we go down, I just want to let you know that you're the finest group of people that I've ever had the pleasure to know.
And you can hear the ratta-tat-tat of automatic fire, and the screams of "I've lost ALL my data!" amongst the chaos and the drama.
Sigh, I feel left out. Linux never lies to me about the level of drama in my life. Never. It lies about as much as a hammer. Linux is boring. Linux forces you to do work, or face the fact that you are not being productive. Sometimes Linux pisses me off. It doesn't crash. It never loses my work. I never get a virus. I feel left out.
These other people are living this incredible drama that magazines write about. News channels are dedicated to it. The federal government is hot on the issue. Everybody has it. Everybody complains about it. The entire nation is embroiled in this compelling soul draining soap opera that is Microsoft Windows.
And me? Little ol' me? I sit unhappily in front of my Linux workstation wishing to procrastinate... searching for a struggle, a cause, something, anything. But there I sit. Guess I'd better get back to work or I won't have anything to eat.
Monday, 12th o August 2002
Jaimito Looking Cool
I just downloaded some pictures from the camera and found this one of Jaimito that just keeps me chuckling (which I edited and put in a different background). Look at that face, so earnest, so impish, so knowing. What a stare. It's like he knows he's got you wrapped around his finger, the little showoff.
He's getting bigger and bigger every day and like his sister already has a strong personality. He loves to play, laugh and is easily amused. He also gets quite grumpy when no one is paying attention to him. If left alone in his bouncer seat for two seconds, he's wailing for someone to play. You appear, and like magic, the floodworks are instantaneously shut off. To tell you the truth, I think this picture just about sums up his entire personality, the hint of a smile, the feeling that he knows more than he lets on, and a reclining pose that oozes self assurance.
Oh, he's going to be trouble, that little one. *chuckle*
Saturday, 3rd o August 2002
Lots of things have been happening to us (most not so good) so most of it's my internal coping, trying to come up with a method for dealing with life. It's not so bad though, just hard.
I'd like to clamber out of the crucible for a little while. Don't get me wrong. This crucible that is Puerto Rico, life etc. has helped me become a better person. That I firmly believe. It's also shown me how woefully lacking is the world in great people, people of conscience, people of passion.
Why can't all these world leaders, caught up in their petty little differences just make a bold move? At the moment of such hate, anger, and fear... just reach out and embrace them. Do something so outside the box as to stun the world into peace. It's all there for the asking. It just takes someone to make the leap. Sigh, there I go again.
Anyway, sometimes things happen to you and although they make you better you don't wish for them again. Take boot camp for example, a worthwhile venture, but not one I'd care to repeat. Same goes for Puerto Rico... however, it's given me perspective on hardship that I wouldn't otherwise have.
If I was Arafat or Sharon, I'd resign. They are the two biggest obstacles of peace in the Middle East. Two big angry idiots defending their houses of cards. Each CAN NEVER admit fault. My system is impeachable and I will fight to the death for it, they scream at each other.
Show me a person willing to kill for his system of beliefs and I will show you a person that does not believe them.
Each is so scared of pulling one single card. What happens when you pull one single card from the house of infallibility? Were we ever infallible to begin with?
Not that simple, you say? You can't just make bold moves like that and expect to get away with it? Hah, the world IS that simple. It's motivated by simplicity, bold deeds, people who take action, and move with passion. What's blocking the Mid East from moving forward is one single thing, so simple that I imagine once they figure it out the feeling stupid will nag them for generations.
Don't preserve your way of life. Preserve your people. What good is a way of life if everyone is dead? Think about your people, struggling, dying. Think about the children dying in the streets, growing up with no hope. Save them. Here's what you need to do. Fall on your sword, Arafat, Sharon. Do yourselves in so that your people will be stunned to peace. Show them you are leaders. Show them they are more important than anything. Show them that you have failed and aren't afraid to admit it. That's what leadership is. It is leading. Simple really, eh? Admit failure and get out of the way, and start building a house based on your people instead of words and symbols.
Kill all the symbols, get out of the way.
I am thinking that all this makes perfect sense, and I'm frustrated that no one is making any moves... just sticking to careful little baby steps based on past actions, past failures. I would not seek actively to have such hardship thrust upon me, but, I think, I'm ready. I feel prepared to make a bold move, to accept something so impossible, so undoable, so gross an undertaking that my younger self would have fled in its face. I've been battling rats for some time... sometimes, I think, I'm ready to take on a that dragon.